


what we do in the dark

by AnxietyAvocado



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Longing, Some Fluff, angst is way more likely when kyo is involved okay, started out tagging so much fluff but this is Kyoru who am I kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23921608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxietyAvocado/pseuds/AnxietyAvocado
Summary: kyo can be quiet. but only after dark. and only in hallways. and only with tohru.if yuki finds out, he'll never hear the end of it
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 164





	what we do in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> this is unrepentant fluff and i will not apologize for inventing situations where kyo gets to stare at tohru.
> 
> also, this characterization the 2019 anime only.

**One - Tohru.**

Tohru was at work later than usual; she had agreed to clean windows so that Etsu could vacuum and get home sooner to her grandson. It was a joy to take the duty, Tohru thought. After all, she didn't have nearly as many responsibilities as Etsu, and it was important to spend time with family. She would bear any burden to allow the people in her life to have that opportunity. 

By the time she could see the Soma house in the distance, it had been dark for hours. Had the Somas eaten dinner yet? It wasn't likely - Shigure was more prone to ordering out than actually cooking (she wasn't sure he could even find the rice cooker), and while Yuki would certainly try, she wasn't sure how his food would turn out. Kyo could cook, but he would rather die than cook something that Yuki would eat. So no, they probably hadn't eaten dinner yet. She approached the front door, and searched her pockets for her keys. Kyo was always telling her off for not walking with them in her hand. She could practically hear his voice in her head, angry and bitter as he berated her. _Don't you know what kind of perverts would love to prey on a girl in the dark? You should know how to be safe - are you sure you lived on your own? Even I know that girls should carry keys between their knuckles in case they're attacked. You're hopeless..._ He was right, of course. She should have been more prepared. 

Finally, the door was unlocked and Tohru stepped inside, toeing off her shoes in the doorway and exchanging them for her slippers. It was dark in the entryway, only dimly lit by the glow from the television. Tohru peeked around the corner and found...

...no one. There was only the dining table, piled high with takeout containers and not a person (or animal) in sight. With a sigh of relief, Tohru gathered up the containers and began to flatten out the small boxes, squishing them together so they would fit in the trash can. As she reached for the last box, her shoulder made an odd crackling sound and she flinched. It was because she was right handed, Tohru reasoned, and had offered to clean all of the windows by herself. It had left her with a stiff back and - now, clearly - a sore shoulder. It was a good thing the boys had ordered takeout... She didn't think she could cook like this. 

She crept up the stairs to her room, determined not to make a noise while she got ready for her bath. Tohru knew that she should be asleep - as the rest of the household evidently was - but she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep smelling like window cleaner. It would only give her a headache, and then she would be miserable at school tomorrow and probably not do her best, and she didn't want to disappoint Mom... No, a bath was the best plan. After changing into her robe, Tohru grabbed her pajamas, hair tie and three new hair pins - Arisa had picked them up for her, claiming they would keep her hair up easier, and she hadn't tried them yet. 

Returning to the hallway, Tohru pulled her door shut as quietly as possible, the small click nearly lost in the oppressive silence of the hallway. As she padded past closed doors, she began to pull her hair up, but her shoulder flared with pain again and she froze. Tohru made a hissing noise almost, sucking in breath between her clenched teeth. Oh, it hurt so badly. How would she bathe without getting her hair wet? She would never be able to dry it tonight without waking the boys up. 

To her right, she heard footsteps, and then the opening of a door. 

"Tohru? Is that you?"

It was Kyo. Tohru was surprised he was still awake, and Tohru whirled around to - hopefully - face him in the darkness. She bowed her head, wincing again, and whispered, "Oh, Kyo! I didn't wake you up did I? I'm so sorry I wasn't here to make dinner, but Etsu needed to leave and so I took her other cleaning duties and it was too late and the store wasn't open when I was coming home and-"

She was cut off by a flash of light when Kyo turned on the lamp by his door and flinched away from the light, causing another hiss of pain to escape her. Kyo, who studied her intently, didn't miss the flinch or the grimace of pain that she tried to hide. 

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, sharply. "Don't tell me you sprained your arm hugging someone or something."

Shaking her head, Tohru tried to smile. "No, I was cleaning windows at work tonight and must have used my right arm too much. I was going to take a bath" - at which point she noticed him glance quickly at, and even quicker away from, her robe - "and was trying to pull up my hair, but my shoulder was hurting."

He seemed to consider the problem carefully. Or, in Tohru's mind, consider what biting response would be best carefully. She watched him with trepidation, waiting for the sharp words that were surely coming, especially after she had upset him at school so badly the other day. 

"C'mere," he said gruffly, gesturing for her to come toward the light. "Give me the stuff for your hair, I'll fix it for you."

Shocked into silence, Tohru did as he said, handing her the hair tie and the new pins. She tilted her head back to make it easier for Kyo. He was already taller than her, but she wanted to make it easier for him to help her. She was grateful for this, and tried to keep still even as her heart felt like it might burst with warmth and happiness. She was so overwhelmed that she missed the start of what he had said.

"...more careful, you know. You have to take better care of yourself. What if no one had been home? I swear, Tohru, it's like you can't survive on your own. You'd probably trip trying to walk and chew gum at the same time," Kyo was grumbling, as his fingers carded through her hair, his nails lightly scratching her scalp. He scraped her hair up into what could only generously be referred to as a ponytail, and wound her hair into a circle. He stuck the pins in haphazardly, so that only most of the hair was staying where it was supposed to, before giving her good shoulder a gentle push. 

"There you go," he said. There was an odd quality to his voice, and Tohru turned to look at him quizically. Had she done something wrong? She had only been standing there quietly, but maybe she had missed a question that he had asked her or something. He was looking between his handiwork in her hair, and her face, and she more he did it the more she flushed pink. What was wrong?

Bending forward slightly in a small bow, Tohru backed into the hallway once more. "Thank you, Kyo. Um, goodnight?" It came out more like a question than she had intended, and she retreated into the bathroom before he could say anything. 

**Two - Tohru.**

The next time it happened, they had been playing badminton at school. Even Kyo and Yuki had joined, and the competition was fierce. Although Tohru was terrible at playing, she still enjoyed it, and did her best to help out her team (which had the opposite of the intended effect). As the sun set, they all lay out on the court, huffing and puffing, laughing breathlessly as Kyo and Arisa argued about who had won the last point. 

Hanajima was the one who noted that it was almost dark. Long shadows were cast across the grounds of the school, and Tohru scrambled up as she chattered on about dinner plans and what she needed to get from the store on their way home, as she and Yuki and Kyo made their way through the streets. Yuki was listening intently, asking questions about the chicken she wanted to cook and how she planned to prepare it while Kyo trailed behind. It took a few blocks for Tohru to notice, but it wasn't anything Kyo did that drew attention to himself. Instead, it was a curious sensation on the back of her head, almost like a tingling. 

Turning around, she made eye contact with Kyo - a split second of silent connection before Kyo looked away, watching his shoes as they scuffed along the pavement. There had been a strange look in his eyes... What was he thinking? Turning around to keep her eyes on the pavement in front of her, Tohru pondered the possibilities. Was he angry with her? Maybe he was still upset about Arisa claiming the last point of the game... Whatever it was, it made her heart ache with the urge to help him. 

Throughout shopping and dinner, Tohru couldn't stop thinking about it. Was Kyo okay? He was still looking strangely whenever Tohru had time to sneak a glace while she was shopping, or cooking, or eating. He was silent, as usual, so that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was the look on his face. It was puzzling. 

As Tohru was getting ready for her bath that night, there was a knock on her door. It was late - Shigure was surely holed up in his study pretending to write, and she and Yuki had already finished their homework. Maybe he had a page of notes for her to copy, or a question about their language work? 

"Hey, you awake? I can see your light on."

The voice on the other side of the door wasn't Yuki's, but Kyo's. And even stranger, it wasn't his gruff, irritated voice she was used to hearing. He was quiet, voice barely above a whisper. Tohru didn't have time to panic and worry about what he might want - what if he woke up the others? She didn't want to disturb their rest or quiet time. Padding across her room, she turned the door handle and opened the door slightly, a small beam of light illuminating half of Kyo's face. 

"Uh, yes, Kyo? Is everything okay?" she asked timidly. 

He looked taken aback, posture stiff and awkward looking, before he shook his head. "No, you dork. Gosh, not everything has to be an emergency. I can't knock on your door without something being wrong?"

"Oh, no, of course!" Tohru said quickly. She wasn't flailing like she might normally be, but that was only because she was holding so tightly onto the door that her knuckles were turning white. "Well, then, uh... What's going on? Do you need my notes or something?" 

"No, that's not it." Kyo sighed, an exasperated look on his face, as if Tohru were missing something completely obvious. "You were playing pretty hard today after school. I thought... I thought maybe you might have hurt your shoulder again or something, and you might need help, you know- with- hair?"

Tohru looked at him incredulously. He was asking if she needed help doing her hair for her bath? It was so sweet of him to notice! She brightened at the thought, so amazed that he might take the time to worry that she could be hurt. She was so grateful to have someone like Kyo in her life. 

"Oh my gosh, thank you for thinking of me! Um, if you really want to, then I could grab my hair stuff?" 

Kyo made an impatient _well, go and get it then_ gesture, and waited just outside the door of Tohru's room. She dug around in her desk drawer for a hair tie and pins, trying to be as quiet as possible while doing so. She really should have kept those things on her nightstand, she chided herself. Then, it would be much easier and much less noisy. Finally, she found what she needed and returned to the doorway, offering the items to Kyo. He took them from her, and made a little circle with his pointer finger, indicating that she should turn around. 

She did so, leaning against the door frame to steady herself while Kyo worked. He was slower this time, combing through her hair more thoroughly, making sure to pull it up at the crown of her head as neatly as possible. The first time he tried, some hairs at the nape of her neck escaped, and he tried to recover them, trying to brush them up into place. The feeling made Tohru shiver and gasp, and when she did Kyo paused. He held his hands still while he waited for her to become still again, and a strange sound seemed to be stuck in his throat, almost as if he was going to say something but thought better of it at the last moment. Tohru leaned into his hands, enjoying the feeling - hadn't he said she could be selfish? Well, she was. She was enjoying someone doing something for her, and she tried to just focus on how good it felt to be taken care of. 

The second try went much better, as he managed to pull all of her hair up on the top of her head, and turn it into something that almost resembled what it should look like. Carefully, he stuck the pins in, trying to catch as much of the hair as he could, taking the time to readjust one or two of them. When he was done, he tapped her on the shoulder. 

Tohru turned around to thank him, but was stunned by the look on his face. It was the same one as earlier, the strange piercing expression that she had seen when they were walking. It took her breath away, and she wanted to ask him what was the matter, but couldn't find her voice. They looked at each other, the moment seeming to stretch like taffy, standing in the doorway of her room but also feeling like they were somewhere else entirely. 

Abruptly, Kyo broke eye contact first. "If you tell anyone I did this, I'll turn into a cat and go play in traffic," he whispered gruffly - but not, she noticed, as irritated as he had been the last time that he helped her. Without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and went back into his room, slamming the door behind him. 

"Thank you," she murmured. 

**Three - Kyo.**

He wanted to knock on her door, but stood frozen on the threshold instead. He had no right to be here, Kyo knew that. After what he had done, he should have left Shigure's house and never looked back. The main estate would have been better, where Akito could tear him to shreds. That, at least, would have been less painful than watching the blood drip down Tohru's arm as Shigure and Yuki had tried to clean her up. 

_All my fault, all my fault, all my fault._ The thought ran through his head until it blurred together into one wordless feeling of panic and fear. There was a time where he thought that the worst thing he could do to Tohru was shout at her to get the hell away from him, or call her useless, or pathetic. Well, apparently there were depths of his awfulness that were unknown even to him. Not only had he turned into his true form, surely disgusting and frightening her, but he had _hurt her_ too. The thought made his stomach roil and clench, like he might be sick any moment. 

But he was here anyway. Because she was Tohru. And he knew she would need help, and that she wouldn't ask anyone. And given that Shigure or Yuki hadn't made any snide comments over the past few weeks about their hallway interludes, they probably didn't know and wouldn't know to ask. 

He knocked and held his breath. And waited. And waited. And waited. 

When she opened the door, Kyo drank in the sight of her. Tohru was wrapped in a blanket, with mussed hair and puffy eyes. Clearly she had been crying - another mark she could count against him if the thought ever occurred to her, the idiot. He could just see the bandages peeking above the edge of the blanket, and the sight was enough to suffocate him. He couldn't draw a steady breath, chest heaving shakily as he realized what he had done. It wasn't like he didn't know, but actually seeing her - actually seeing gentle, unassuming, kind Tohru wrapped in bandages from a wound he caused - was something else. 

She was still looking at him, waiting for him to speak, but he couldn't. If he started talking, he might not ever stop, and he wasn't sure what words would spill out. Instead, he pushed the door open and walked into her room (which was rude, but that was just his defining trait) and grabbed the hair tie and pins off the table beside her bed. Tohru, who hadn't left the doorway, nodded silently, and leaned against the door frame with her uninjured shoulder. 

Kyo took his time. He was as gentle as he could be, brushing through her soft hair with his fingers, gently pulling at tangles and undoing the ribbon that was still stuck in her hair. He laid the fabric over his shoulder before continuing to work his hands through, pulling her hair up on top of her head - the actions now familiar that he was sure of what he was doing - and wrapping the ponytail around itself to make a small and fluffy bun. There were wispy hairs falling out, barely reaching the nape of her neck, and Kyo tried to gently brush them into place, taking the time to do this one thing that he could for Tohru. The motion caused her to lean her head forward, exposing more of her neck. He kept brushing at the hairs, pushing them into place, repeating the motion long after the job had been done. The repetitiveness was soothing to him, and to her he hoped.

After a while, her small hand caught at his, just above where the beads sat on his wrist. Tohru turned around, still holding on to him. Kyo let himself hope for a split second that she would never let go before he shut himself down, reminding himself of exactly why she needed his help tonight. 

"Thank you, Kyo," she whispered. 

His eyes widened with shock. She was thanking him? After everything he had done? She really was an idiot... With a ragged sigh, he let his head fall forward, resting on the door frame just above hers, her bun close enough to tickle his nose. 

"You shouldn't be thanking me," he whispered fiercely. "It's my fault. It's my fault that you can't even do your own hair. That you have those bandages. That you're _hurt_. You shouldn't be thanking me. You should hate me."

Still clutching the blanket, Tohru let her head fall forward to rest on his shoulder. It wasn't a hug, so it was okay, and it was nothing compared to the closeness of earlier in the evening. The gesture comforted him and hollowed him - something about it was so personal that it scared him, and what scared him more was how much he _wanted it_. He didn't deserve her comfort, but he wanted it anyway. _Selfish asshole, you shouldn't be thinking about that. About her._

"I don't hate you." Her small voice jarred him back to reality. "I could never hate you, Kyo. Even earlier, when I was scared, I didn't hate you. And I don't now. I'm just so thankful that you came to check up on me. You knew that I would need help, and that means so much, really. So thank you."

Picking his head up off the door frame, Kyo looked down at her. With her hair pulled up and wrapped in a blanket, she looked younger than he had ever seen her. Half of her face was lost in the shadow of the hallway, but the half he could see was looking up at him earnestly, trust and faith written plainly across it. Without even meaning to, he leaned closer, driven by some insanely desperate urge to be closer. 

But he couldn't be. And he shouldn't be. He certainly didn't _deserve_ to be.

With eyes cast downward, Kyo stepped back to give her room. 

"You should go take a bath," he said, voice hollow. 

She did as he said (she always did, something else that he would have to berate her about later), and he watched her silently as she gathered up her things and walked to the bathroom. She looked up as she reached for the door handle and they looked at each other from across the distance, her expression looking just as lost and tired and ravaged as he felt. As soon as the bathroom door was closed, he sank down to the floor, knees resting on the hardwood while his balled fists pushed into his thighs. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, you know you can't. You shouldn't. You don't **deserve** to care, _a savage voice rang out, ripping through his head. 

That hollow feeling in his chest threatened to drown him, or turn him inside out, or make him puke. Better to do that outside, he reasoned. He didn't need Shigure getting on his case about ruining the floors. 

And while he was out, at least he could try to get rid of the feeling by punching a few trees. Maybe it would help. 

It didn't.


End file.
